Tonight's movie: Half (or so) of The Green Mile

So, I've never actually read Stephen King's The Green Mile, and I have never sat through the entire movie. NOR have I even started it at the beginning. It's always somewhere random towards the middle.

So the scene I just witnessed has the man who plays the farmer in Babe (live-action)... (do they have an animated version?) And in this man's office (I assume he's the jail warden...) he has a portrait of FDR. He said something about a brain chumer (yeah, chumer) and sobbed in his hand because "she's going to die".

Cut to Tom Hanks lying in bed. He looks a bit sweaty, I might add. AND THEN! All of a SUDDEN some pain overcomes him and Tom sits up in bed annnnnnd..... grabs his penis and balls.
(He is wearing pajamas, I might add). Then the next morning we see Bonnie Hunt (she was in the Beetoven franchise right? Well, now she has a talk show. You go girl!).
And Tom says he's going to the doctor. Today.
At work, Tom comes out of the bathroom looking really sick. Like, sweaty and exhausted and... sweaty. Oh.... he kind of waddles now... Weird.

A fight has broken out between the new transfer prisoner, Mr. Tom Waddly, and some other guards. One guy has that evil face. I think he's the evil one in this flick.
This other guard comes out, I feel like this actor plays a lot of Irish characters.
They thought the prisoner was doped.... We thought he was doped!
I think Tom's disco stick is... like swollen or something. Something not right is going on down there. He is walking, no waddling and now he is sitting on his knees on the floor holding them. Now he's lying on the floor. Maybe it's hot? And the cement floor will cool it?
It appears that Tom hangs to the left.
OH MY GOD. The man who always plays the obligatory black man snatched Tom to the bars and grabs his crotch.
Seems Tom's package is a hot item. WOW lots of electricity and ew. ew. ew. ew. This prisoner let bugs out of his mouth. EW EW EW EW EW. Tom is mesmarized.
OH WAIT. He can HEAL people... Right?

I forget that most people can read things longer than I can focus on them. So to me, I wouldn't have gone past the first paragraph. I would come back to it later, but I couldn't sit and read this entire thing NOW. So my point was that I was worried these are too long. But I remembered that most people are more literate than me.

Oh shit. I changed the channel and was watching some movie with Anne Heche and Viggo Mortenson. I'm not sure what this is. I thought it might be the really bad remake of Psycho (because of anne heche's blondness and the fact that i can't really tell what time period this is). So I got distracted about that. Now back to the Green Mile.

Tom is driving furiously to Trapingnas Pass (or something).
OH LEUTENANT DAN LEUTENANT DAN IS THAT YOU?!!
Together again!!!!!!!!!
Gary Sinise and Tom Hanks=TRULOVE

Sitting on a porch together. Like when Forrest was part of that shrimpin' business. Only this time, Leutenant Dan has working legs.

Oh gosh. I'm not very good at this. I got distracted by Facebook. Pictures. Pictures I have looked at before. There's something about the big guy sharing corn bread with the small squirrely white man with a mouse friend.

ahhhhh shit. I give up. Goodnight Leutenant Dan!